- jay creates- ( NKEOLISA)

Nkeolisa your name rings ever sweetly in my ears. Had I once a life,a
life that has long since vanished with your abrupt and sudden absence.
Your name is sweet like the fresh honey the bees carelessly left
behind in their hive for the poor hungry hunter to find. Your smile
like the ever waving waters of the carribean sea. Your nose a pointed
heaven like the steeps of Kilimanjaro. Your eyes an utopian window to
behold ,with the constant glimpse of your paradise within.
With you my life knew no boundaries, no restraint nor
hindrance. You unearthed the vigour within me and made my inhibitions
disappear . With you I was fulfilled , nothing else could I seek with
you .You made me whole, a completeness I had sought all my life.
Nkeolisa the only one that can like magic give and take away
my happiness. I have wept all my pain away, I have drenched myself in
salty rivulets in memory of our past glory. Relishing our past becomes
futile for your glaring absence makes my thoughts run dry. How I wish
I told you then that now I won't feel so guilty about it. My
confessions a bowl of water escaping into the dry emptiness of thin
air without you a caring soul to tender attention nor listen.
I know ,yes I know . I do not deny that I have attempted
suicide twice already but Nkem this is too much for me. I wish I had
told you earlier that now I might rest in troubled silence knowing
that at least you were intimated on such cogent information before you
suddenly deserted me.
On the day you left me I had called earlier that morning,
like fourty times. I got worried and called your brother only to be
told you were gone.
My love, why does thou give thine cause to weep , for in thy
happiness I was drunk ,from the fullness of such profound delight.
Where does though yonder go, are thee estranged from thy sight
forever.
You set me free like a bird finally uncaged and let me roam the
world with you ever by my side. You made me a changed being ,eager to
care, listen and speak.........things I never quite thought myself of
being capable of. If there were such a feeling,a feeling more profound
than love it would probably not qualify what we had. Nkem why? I have
been shoved roughly by fate into the gutter of sweet past memories
lost in the never ending "had been". Ola m why at this time. I wish I
had told you still, not that it would have made a difference but I
would die in peace knowing that we could have been....."the great
feeling of a chanced success".
I lay before the gods of life welding their scepters of life
and death ever dressed in their ominous white regalia as if to assure
me that they were benevolent spirits. They troop in in tens rallying
around my rest place touching their mechanical contrivances with a
frenzied urgency. They kept shouting words like" he is having internal
hemorrhage, he is having a seizure".
Slowly I begin to lose my consciousness,perhaps they were
benevolent spirits after all for their urgency stemmed from that fact
that they intended to save my life. As this powerful blackout pervades
my being I whisper ever so softly perhaps hoping she would hear
.......my Nkem I wish I had asked you to marry me.