In a cold silent night during the harmattan season the type that coerces one to sleep with a thick wooly blanket or pay the prize of a bad cold when the morning comes , a woman sat at a desk a dim light from a candle illuminating her features. She looked around furtively as if scared of an imminent intruder. She then heaved a sigh of relief and turned to the paper before her. She picked up her pen and wrote
No 35 Unity street,
Trans-Ekulu,
Enugu,
P.O.Box 322
5th may, 2005
Dear mother,
Mama it has been ages since we last saw, I have tried countlessly to reach you without success. How is papa, Ekene, Melu and the chickens. I hope they are alright and in good health. To be sincere I have been worried sick over Melu's welfare considering the fact that she recently put to bed four lovely kittens. Mama does papa still complain about the hot water made ready for bathing getting warm before it is put to use and Captain's incessant barking at night. I have so much I want to tell you however where to begin eludes
my senses. However tell you I must, let me try.
It is with a feeling of profound grief and a heart pregnant with pain that I write you. I feel ashamed having to to tell you this instead of bringing the news of joy and progress that you would normally expect from me but mama this is beyond my control. Indeed it is now a duty upon me to remit my story that in the end if need be you would offer me some comfort and consolation.
Mama it has been roughly a week since calamity befell me. Sometimes when I look back all I can see is a mirage like threads of sweet memories dangling closely around my mind almost within reach. Ten years ago I gained admission to the faculty of health sciences in the university of Benin to study physiotherapy. Prior to that I had battled with jamb for three long years , but then no sooner had I gained admission than I graduated the events of campus gone in a flash like a skillful pickpocket of Ogbete market who upon notice that his victim has taken cognisance of his presence would disappear with the speed of lightening ocassionally hindered by short legs and fatigue. It all happened so fast........ I got admission,first year, matriculation,second year, third year ,...... before I could fully comprehend what was happening am in final year and graduating. But that is all in the past now. I got married to a lovely accountant Chinedu had two beautiful daughters Oge and Nnenna and an ever diligent and meticulous houseboy Ike. Mama sometimes I wish I can turn back the hands of time that what has happened may be reversed but the sisters of time are not very eager at this time. I carry with me a burden, a burden that must be left to fall lest it weighs my shoulders down with constant aching a reminder of past trouble. I do not have the words to say it nor do I have the courage but I must tell you because you deserve to know after all you carried my two daughters in your arms when they were born. Your laughter and joy at the time still rings in my ears as I remember with sadness that you will never see them again.
Mama chinedu has left me, he has left with our children. He has taken our children with him Mama he has gone. On the day my life fell apart, Chinedu had asked me to accompany him to attend his sister's child dedication and when I vehemently refused to go he was not moved. "it is my sister's child dedication" he said but I insisted we stay.
I went to market later that day to get foodstuff and vegetables I was to use in making his favourite food only to realize he had gone with our two daughters. Mama I left the house immediately against my own will and drove towards the venue when I saw them.
Ekene was the first person I saw. His face was battered and bloody and his left hand appeared to have been crushed by the car, the rest of them were in similar states and all dead.
Mama I did not cry, I did not speak for I didn't know what to say nor did I think. I stood for hours looking at them before the empathetic crowd led me away. Mama I am finished. I have fallen into a furnace fed by the sweet embers of pain and sorrows. My life seems without purpose anymore, I have taken a leave that has long expired and I lack the courage to go back to work. Life to me has become like a meaningless existence that defies all efforts at self motivation, courage and perseverance and I a willing sojourner steps into the flow of time with no purpose of life other than existence itself with no chance to stop and reconsider. Mama my heart has been pierced like the poor farmer's skin by mosquitoes on a Friday night and a dark hole gapes therein, a black void with minimal chances of filling.
Mama I do not know what to do anymore, I have tried Mama, I have tried to move on. To believe that everything happens for a reason and that it is God's will but Mama it's of no avail. My eyes are permanently reddened from crying myself to sleep, and I sleep each day hoping to either not wake up the next day or to wake up and discover that it was just a nightmare dispelled by the strong power of morning.
Mama Forgive me for bothering you with my troubles but there was no one else to turn to. I in turn miss you dearly in addition to my husband and my children that just joined the race of the afterlife with the infamous title now attached to their names "deceased".
Send my regards to papa, tell him I love him and that I am in a lot of pain with big chances of joining him soon . Wish me peace for I don't know how long I can take this anymore.
Love,
Chetachi.
She stared at the letter for a long time then she pushed back her chair and stood up. She walked to the kitchen opened the a drawer and pulled out a big kitchen Knife then she smacked her lips in satisfaction. She walked to the front door opened it and stepped into the night.
post by Uche Osita James
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