DIVORCE is an unpalatable reality to cope with.
Like every other major life change, the process can
be quite messy and stressful, as it affects virtually
every aspect of life, including the finances, living
arrangements, the household, jobs, psychology,
physical and even the name. And so, what formerly
was 'joined together by the Lord, is put asunder'
by the parties involved, as they go their separate
ways. In many cases, everything the affected
couple shared or did jointly are also divided or
dropped.
Curiously, however, some divorced women
continue to bear their husbands' names, long after
the men have apparently moved on and in some
cases are even married to other women. The
name, which was adopted at the start of the union,
becomes the last and in some cases, the only
thing that is not dropped. While some men seem
unperturbed by this and won't mind the woman
bearing their name till she dies, if she so wishes,
others feel it is only right and proper that a woman
immediately dropped her marital name as soon as
there had been a divorce. This category of men
would go to any length to ensure that the woman
stops bearing their name after divorce.
But, is it right for a woman to continue to bear
her husband's name after she had divorced him?
Are there legal implications?
Ify Uzokwe, a lawyer at Lagos State Ministry Of
Justice says there is no obvious legal implication
as regards a woman bearing her husband's name
after divorce.
"Marriage is the union of two people of opposite
sex namely man and woman. It is the foundation of
every family worldwide. When the love has gone
sour and the parties could no longer tolerate each
other, they can decide to get separated for some
time or dissolve the marriage."
"Judicial/legal separation is a lot like divorce, as
it also involves the same process of filing papers
with the court to start a legal action and the court
has to make the same decisions about children,
debts and assets as in a divorce. At the end of the
process, however, the parties are legally separated
instead of being divorced. This means they are still
married, though not responsible for each other."
She explains.
On the other hand, a divorce, she says, is a legal
action between married people to terminate their
marriage relationship. It can be referred to as
dissolution of the marriage and is basically the
legal action that ends the marriage. "The test for
the competence of any petition for a decree of
dissolution of any marriage must be viewed,
therefore, from the point of view of Section 15 MCA
Cap M.7 Laws of the Federation. Whether it is right
or not for a woman to continue to bear her
husband's name after she is divorced depends on
the parties and what they want," she says.
There are diverse views on this. Mrs. Omolara
Solomon, a businesswoman, who says she has
been married for over 20 years, feels it is not
proper for divorced women to return to their
maiden names, especially if they had children for
the former husband.
"First, it is to protect the children and shield them
from public ridicule because it is easy for people,
who are unaware of what happened to think that
the children are illegitimate because they bear
different surname from that of their mother. And
then the procedure of going back to the maiden
name is quite hectic. Imagine changing names on
properties acquired while in the marriage, as well
as documents and such others. The woman has to
run around changing her driver's licence and
insurance documents among others."
Mr. Banji Anjola, a Public Relations Officer with
an oil and gas company thinks otherwise. In his
view, once a woman is divorced, she is not
entitled to use her husband's name. "A woman
acquires her matrimonial name by virtue of her
marriage. So, when the marriage is dissolved and
the woman continues to use her marital name, the
man definitely has the right to take recourse to the
law to restrain his former wife from using his
name. Some people might ask 'what's in a name?'
But it definitely means something and that's why a
man can decide to fight a legal battle all the way to
the Supreme Court to stop his ex-wife from using
his surname," he says.
These days, it appears things are a bit more
complicated, what with hyphenated names and
some women, who for professional or personal
reasons could decide not to change their names.
"Generally these days, Ms. is the most
acceptable honourific for a woman, whether single,
married, divorced or whatever, says Uzokwe. "I do
not think there is any law governing this issue. But
the court can grant such prayer when asked. The
Supreme Court order can be cited as a precedent
for any man, who objects to his former wife whom
he has divorced from continuing to use his
surname.
"On the issue of legal implication, I feel the need
to seek for such prayer in court is for one to play
safe. Once the marriage is dissolved, the parties
are then strangers. It might be necessary in order
to avoid misrepresentation or impersonation.
Matrimonial proceeding is a civil procedure, but in
some criminal proceedings, husband and wife are
presumed to be same. Even on the issue of next of
kin, where the man has the woman as his next of
kin, once the woman drops the husband's name,
she is automatically disqualified to benefit from
that."
She states that in the Nigerian society, hardly do
men go back to court for the purpose of ensuring
a woman drops their name. "Most times, women
add their maiden names to their marital names.
Such enables them to easily dispose their
husbands' names when relevant issues arise.
However, many women confirm that changing their
marital names after divorce creates a clean slate.
For some, it signifies taking back some power they
feel they may have lost during the marriage. For
others, a name change symbolises the beginning
of a new life chapter."
Obiageli Oraka's view is somewhat different from
that of Uzokwe. A human right lawyer/director of
programmes, West African Bar Association (WABA),
Abuja, Oraka says the proper thing is for a
divorced woman to drop her former husband's
name.
"In Nigeria, as with most parts of the world, the
practice is that a married woman changes her last
name to that of her husband. It is expected that
upon divorce, the woman reverts to her maiden
name to reflect the change of status. There is,
however, currently no law in Nigeria that obliges a
married woman to assume her husband's last
name. This practice is purely on socio-cultural
grounds and as a matter of convenience.
"The practice is not strictly followed. as more
women prefer to retain their maiden name rather
than go through the rigours of name changing.
Reasons could be to avoid legal and other
inconveniences that may result from name change
or purely due to personal reasons.
"Just as a woman is under no legal obligation to
change her last name after marriage, there are also
no laws barring a woman from keeping her
husband's name following a divorce. The
Matrimonial Causes Act Chapter 220 Laws of the
Federation of Nigeria 1990 is the relevant law that
deals with dissolution of marriage. This law is
completely silent on the notion that a woman must
revert to her maiden name upon divorce. No other
law in Nigeria requires a woman to do so.
"Several reasons in my opinion inform the
woman's choice to retain her ex-husband's last
name. Firstly, if the marriage produced children,
the woman might want to bear same name as her
children. Several paper works are required to
change name and the woman may not wish to go
through same process again in order to revert to a
former name. For example, she may not wish to go
through additional hassles and paperworks
associated with name change such as court
affidavit, police report and publication in
newspapers, effecting the name change in the
international passport, certificates, national
identification, bank accounts, shares, business
name et al.
"Again, if the woman has made investments and
become established in business or career, she
may deem it wiser to retain her ex-husband's
name for continuity purposes. Some women may
choose to keep the name because they have
become accustomed to it. A man does not change
his name as a result of marriage and is, therefore,
spared the rigours and inconveniences of having to
go through name change all over again as a result
of marriage and/or divorce unlike a woman.
"My opinion is that in today's world, where
human rights and freedoms are sacrosanct, gender
equality and non-discrimination should be upheld
and respected. If a man does not have to go
through these rigours, then a woman should not
be mandated to do so either. The decision to
change her name upon marriage or to retain her
husband's name should be hers without any form
of duress. More so since there is no legal mandate
or barrier to this practice."
Pastor Adekunle Adedini, a marriage counselor
with Providence House Ministry, Lagos, would
rather the woman drops the man's name after
divorce.
"Ideally, I am of the opinion that the woman
should drop the name of her ex-husband. In the
first place, it was the marriage that gave her the
right or privilege, as the case may be, to bear the
name and since the marriage has been dissolved,
she should drop the name without further ado. It
is just like an employee that resigns from an
organisation yet wants to hold on to the identity
card, vital documents and other properties
belonging to the organisation. It is very obvious
that even if the law doesn't make it a compulsory
condition in the divorce case, the woman should
drop the name, although I am not too sure if the
law compels the lady to drop the name of her ex-
husband or not.
So, why do some women do this?
"I believe that some ladies hold on to their ex-
husbands' names for certain reasons, which
include economic. They may feel that dropping the
name might affect their economic fortunes and
status. Or to leverage in business and life, in the
situation, where the family of the ex-husband is
well to do and commands a great deal of influence
in the society. Such ladies may feel that by
dropping the name, certain privileges will no longer
accrue to them.
"Then there is the issue of acceptance in the
society. We live in a society that tends to label or
stigmatise divorced ladies. Ladies that are not
married or out of marriage are seen as misfits in
the society. Years back, in some organisations, any
lady in these categories was restricted to particular
levels and functions simply because "she has
failed." I must say that this trend has reduced
drastically. Some divorced ladies would rather
retain the name of their ex than to explain to a
biased society that is not ready to understand their
plight.
"Then there is also the hope of a makeup,
whereby some ladies are hopeful that things can
still work out, especially when the circumstances
surrounding their divorce can be traced to
immaturity and carelessness on the part of the
man and the lady. There are instances where ex-
husbands do not see anything wrong in the women
retaining their names, while some men would
make a fuss about it.
"The major effect or negative implication this
might have on the ex husband is, if the
circumstances that led to their divorce is of a very
bitter nature that may warrant the woman thinking
of getting back at her ex. If the major assets, bank
accounts and other properties are tied to the name
of the woman, then those assets are at risk.
"In conclusion, I would say it is not a question of
whether it is right or wrong, but the motives
behind retaining the last name."
Mrs. Olufunke Adeleye, a marriage counselor
living in Asaba, Delta State takes a spiritual stance
on the issue.
"Biblically, a woman is not expected to marry any
other man after divorce, except the man dies.
Then, immediately she is divorced, she doesn't
have any right to bear his name.
"From the legal point of view, if she divorces the
man and doesn't want to marry him again, then
she must revert to her maiden name. If she
doesn't, the man has the right to charge her to
court, but before doing this, he should sit her
down and explain to her that she no longer has the
right, because she could implicate him through
that name. There are exceptional cases, where the
woman is still interested in the marriage, but it
was the man that filed for a divorce. In such cases,
the woman would refuse to change her name
giving the excuse that she still has interest in the
marriage.
"There may be some benefits, which they are
deriving from the usage of the name. And the
negative effect in this is that if the woman commits
any crime anywhere, the husband's name would
be mentioned and he could be implicated."
In the same vein, Kadiri Babatunde, the Court
Registrar at Isolo Customary Court feels a woman
should do away with the man's name after divorce.
"It is not right for a woman to bear a man's
name after divorce. It is morally not right, except
the woman does it for selfish reasons. If a man
and a woman decide to go their separate ways,
then the woman should have no business holding
on to the man's name. But because of the stress
of changing some documents, the woman might
decide to hold on to the name, and that should be
if the man agrees. The man might also permit the
woman to keep using his name, but it is not legal.
"Top businessmen, politicians and influential
men, who divorce their wives, may not want them
to continue answering their names in order to
protect their integrity. The woman might go about
using the name to receive favours and claims,
whereas she no longer lives with the man. And
when there is trouble, it falls back on the man.
"Men, who are not comfortable with their ex-
wives still bearing their name, should go to the
Magistrate Court and file an application for a
change of name. It is a criminal act for a woman
to still answer the name of a man she divorced,
because if anything happens to her, they will go
looking for the man, who had already divorced her.
"In a divorce case, it is only the court that can
tell a man that he has divorced his wife legally. It
is just a document that is not published in the
newspapers, because if it was, everybody would
have clearly known their new status. What is done
in the court is between the man and woman,
although it is a legally tendered document. But if
the woman commits any offence using that name,
it comes back to the husband."
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